that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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