apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So many bounce houses so little time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
