and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
