i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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