if i can run in heels then i can drive
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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