i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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