Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
