I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
