i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
