Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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