You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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