Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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