You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
