when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
