i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
