sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
