dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
