32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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