The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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