we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
