Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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