I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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