Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

  (1-213): View more from California

  well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

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  (213): are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town (1-213): well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT http://tfl.nu/kbwd
  Replies (14) Good night (1043) Bad night (6169)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!

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  (520): Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!! http://tfl.nu/6hir
  Replies (19) Good night (5704) Bad night (722)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"

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  (845): Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person" http://tfl.nu/45pt
  Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (2100)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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  (778): There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater http://tfl.nu/g5ze
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (2501)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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  (262): Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life. http://tfl.nu/enlv
  Replies (15) Good night (1114) Bad night (3215)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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  (724): Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is http://tfl.nu/t84q
  Replies (4) Good night (1000) Bad night (554)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.

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  (206): be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age. http://tfl.nu/oer4
  Replies (10) Good night (1144) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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  (585): By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some. http://tfl.nu/uaz4
  Replies (6) Good night (1173) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

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  (973): Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see http://tfl.nu/gnrw
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!

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  (916): She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come! http://tfl.nu/rtar
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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  (312): I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in http://tfl.nu/almk
  Replies (7) Good night (607) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"

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  (410): For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/u1ni
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal

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  (734): My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal http://tfl.nu/dojo
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.

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  (615): I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving. http://tfl.nu/50sh
  Replies (6) Good night (351) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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  (203): I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve http://tfl.nu/dnsd
  Replies (4) Good night (272) Bad night (372)

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