Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

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  (717): so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong? http://tfl.nu/4brz
  Replies (28) Good night (3793) Bad night (868)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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  (201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate. http://tfl.nu/09wt
  Replies (34) Good night (3812) Bad night (655)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's a collector of sorts

  (713): View more from Texas

  Any cool stuff?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk

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  (832): He's a collector of sorts (713): Any cool stuff? (832): You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk http://tfl.nu/cuoh
  Replies (10) Good night (570) Bad night (4037)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  well, dont

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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  (720): So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face. (970): well, dont (720): I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it. http://tfl.nu/lbqb
  Replies (32) Good night (6275) Bad night (899)
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  (562): View more from California

  he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him

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  (562): he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him http://tfl.nu/6w3v
  Replies (8) Good night (3149) Bad night (905)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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  (570): found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory. http://tfl.nu/fqts
  Replies (13) Good night (4606) Bad night (932)
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  (510): View more from California

  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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  (510): you told grandpa to call you daddy http://tfl.nu/jb8d
  Replies (10) Good night (1324) Bad night (5036)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

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  (801): He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex. http://tfl.nu/rz6s
  Replies (12) Good night (4274) Bad night (957)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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  (302): Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers, http://tfl.nu/ct0l
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (976)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.

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  (815): Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/t0xa
  Replies (7) Good night (2782) Bad night (537)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....

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  (406): And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night.... http://tfl.nu/0vfo
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (269)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

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  (248): I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started http://tfl.nu/udux
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (369)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy

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  (740): The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0 (1-740): If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it (740): Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy http://tfl.nu/hs5w
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (297)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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  (973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (421)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".

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  (907): The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable". http://tfl.nu/1zry
  Replies (2) Good night (263) Bad night (350)

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