Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.