It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.