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yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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