to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"