there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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