plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
