I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
