We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
