Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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