My room smells like vodka and shame
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
These tits shall not be calmed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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