Sry I called you an 8
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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