my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Im part way to drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
