she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
time to smoke my breakfast
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
