Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
