dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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