I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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