I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
