she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize