I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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