Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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