made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
