areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
sex in a hospital.. check
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
