is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I supernannyed him into submission
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
