he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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