As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
