She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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