Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
