What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize