Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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