hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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