So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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