So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
