i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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