I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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