Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
