Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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