I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize