so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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