i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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