Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
