what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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