What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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