one two three fourrrrnication!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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