in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
as a side note pls kill me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
